have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize
