you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
