Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
