where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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