i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
