I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize