you guys were way drunker than both of me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
