Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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