Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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