i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
