What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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