so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
These tits shall not be calmed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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