The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
