gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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