been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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