The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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