you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
