it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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