The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize