and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
