But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
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the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
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Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.