The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
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We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?