we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.