Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
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they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
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She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?