Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?

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  (803): I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low? http://tfl.nu/crwl
  Replies (13) Good night (1001) Bad night (4679)
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  (707): View more from California

  she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.

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  (707): she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me. http://tfl.nu/ol58
  Replies (43) Good night (1646) Bad night (5635)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.

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  (319): I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie. http://tfl.nu/hxcl
  Replies (13) Good night (3080) Bad night (1111)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone

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  (704): there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone http://tfl.nu/ttuj
  Replies (3) Good night (2779) Bad night (630)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.

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  (507): We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do. http://tfl.nu/66ti
  Replies (4) Good night (1250) Bad night (498)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Touche salesman.

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  (402): You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less. (1-402): Touche salesman. http://tfl.nu/st32
  Replies (2) Good night (1062) Bad night (414)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram

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  (508): in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram http://tfl.nu/qw4a
  Replies (12) Good night (685) Bad night (840)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??

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  (701): i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this?? http://tfl.nu/hqqq
  Replies (8) Good night (628) Bad night (1126)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I feel like you just railed me after that sext

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  (216): I feel like you just railed me after that sext http://tfl.nu/hgfe
  Replies (8) Good night (1226) Bad night (392)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.

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  (816): Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire. http://tfl.nu/gpak
  Replies (5) Good night (890) Bad night (517)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.

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  (727): We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity. http://tfl.nu/gy6t
  Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (156)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember

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  (306): i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember http://tfl.nu/04pq
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (146)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.

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  (406): Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row. http://tfl.nu/j0up
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (170)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.

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  (906): A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious. http://tfl.nu/r6bp
  Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (158)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.

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  (804): for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner. http://tfl.nu/3gkb
  Replies (0) Good night (150) Bad night (391)

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