the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking