yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far