Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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