Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen

Fav 27 2675 2651
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(863): View more from Florida

I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good

Fav 14 5359 1627
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?

Fav 14 5838 1500
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?

Fav 6 4069 1277
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(314): View more from Missouri

Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?

(217): View more from Illinois

I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.

Fav 14 4043 1936
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(908): View more from New Jersey

At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.

Fav 2 972 1564
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(913): View more from Kansas

I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach

Fav 5 814 1301
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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.

Fav 2 217 145
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.

Fav 0 53 1
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