He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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