Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
