Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
