I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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