Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You are a genius and a whore.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
