Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
