Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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