I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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