omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
