im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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