Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
