i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize