I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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