How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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