I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
