My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
