So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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