I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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