he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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