the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
