'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
