Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
