i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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