I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
