You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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