Im at strip club and am horny
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize