It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
