Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
