WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
