She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
