Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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