the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
