HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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