We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
