i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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