There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize