i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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