Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
