Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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