I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
As shirtless as possible
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
