hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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