Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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