Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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