I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
